time to smoke my breakfast
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
