Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
