I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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