Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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