I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
