only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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