Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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