I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
