If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
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Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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