I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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