some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
