It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
