What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
