The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
