uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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