Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
