Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
