I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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