i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
