He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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