What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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