Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
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Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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