you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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