a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize