so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
