Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
