hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
