wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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