i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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