My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
