iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
