oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
