Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
