i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
