Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
