Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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