I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
