My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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