yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize