hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
never play flip cup with pint glasses
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
