my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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