you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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