I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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