no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
