I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
