I'm going to jail i love you
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
ttyl tear gas
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
