i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
