I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
