Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
