What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Randomize
