addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
