So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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