Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
