No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
time to smoke my breakfast
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
