i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
