Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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