So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
