Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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