he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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