ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
