i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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